Knotty Pants

I can understand someone saying that the word has a sexist connotation, as I have already sort of pointed out. But does say that I must be using it in that way? And that for every time I say bitch, somewhere in the world ten women lose their self-esteem? Let us also say for argument sake, that simply using the b-word demeans women no matter the context, if directed at a man, does it also demean him, and in the same way it does a woman? And suppose a person actually intended to demean, does it do it for the particular woman it is said to or to every woman on the planet by extension? And if the latter, what is the logic behind it? And if the former, can I argue that I have the right to demean whomever I so wish to? In the extreme and pretty unlikely scenario, supposing I decide that someone has exhibited a very bitch-like behaviour (see definition a) that warrants demeaning (it feels funny that I should add this, but we live in a PC world and one needs to cover one’s ass as much as one can – not on grounds of their race, gender or status), can I then say that such a person is in fact being a nasty little bitch? I mean, I have called one or two people stupid in my days, and that wasn’t intended to exalt them. Or maybe saying bitch is far much more demeaning than stupid. Maybe I should say stupid if I only wish to mildly demean, and bitch when I really want it to hit home?

If you are wondering why I am talking about this, it is because of all the commotion about Beyoncé and her supposedly appropriation – and twisting up – of feminism. Beyoncé says she is a feminist, plenty Doubting Thomas’s scream, ‘you lie!’ They highlight her objectification of women – Beyoncé loves being sexy, and she will be sexy any damn way she possibly can, and much of those ways involve little clothes and her butt thrust out. Secondly, Beyoncé sampled Chimamanda’s TedxEuston speech in her song, Flawless. The speech where Chimamanda called on everyone to be feminist, a message folks say is in contradiction with everything else in Beyoncé’s song, especially the part where Beyoncé invites some unnamed bitches to bow down (to her?). Now, I am not a Beyoncé fan. However, I feel her latest album is her most honest. She has shed her Miss Goody-two-shoes image for this one in the way she hasn’t in all her previous albums. No more any of that bullshit talk of alter ego (or am I wrong?), that absolute crap about how another personality takes over when she is on stage. Bitch, give it a rest! You’re freaky through and through, and you know it. Ain’t nobody taking over nothing. It’s all you. All you, from start to finish. Now if you can stop with all that irritating pretence and own your badness, I will love you the way I love Rihanna (badly behaving women who don’t give a shit I find very intriguing).

Okay, got carried away there. Back to the subject. Is Beyoncé any less a feminist (or maybe not at all) because she likes her clothes virtually nonexistent and she thinks bitches should bow down to her greatness? Of course not! Now, I am not learned in gender studies and everything I know about feminism is largely layman. This means that some of the nuances of the ideology are unknown to me. And, if I will be honest, I kind of prefer it like that. So, if you want to disagree with me about what feminism is or isn’t, please keep it simple. All I know, and on this I stand, is that men and women are equal and no one is more important than the other. That means both sexes are equally able to exercise their right to be as stupid as they deem fit, and to equally suffer the consequences of their stupidity. In other words, it is Beyoncé’s right to chose to objectify herself. If people think less of her as a result, well that’s their right too. Can Beyoncé say bitch? Ain’t nothing stopping her. It doesn’t make her any less feminist. It may make her a feminist-who-says-bitch, hence people who do not like feminists-who-say-bitch may not want to associate with, but that’s just about it.

Those who argue that what Beyoncé does affects the women are viewed, I say you are right. Although the degree to which she does is arguable, but let’s not go into that. What I think is, instead of screaming at Beyoncé to put on some damn clothes, it may be more effective – though harder – to reorient people on what sexiness is. And sexiness as it is right now, I feel, isn’t exactly being dictated by women themselves. The way I see if, if an industry tells a woman she has to undress to sell, then it really isn’t equality. They may sell it as that, but it really isn’t. It’s just the other side of society telling women to cover up, sit with your legs together, speak quietly, act appropriately etc. It simply is others deciding for women who they should or shouldn’t do to be considered acceptable. In spite of that, women can choose that it is the product they want to sell. And it appears Beyoncé has. Some may think it is stupid, but it is their choice and right. A right feminism won for them. There would always be others who defile the expectation and decide to be properly clothed. They say if a man can be sexy fully clothed, so can they. They too are exercising their right. If there is a feminism hierarchy – and it does appear there is – this continuous argument about how a feminist should be tells us that the latter group would rank higher than the former. They would be the ones doing it the right away. Although, I kind of wonder where a woman who is persecuted for dressing “too sexily” in a conservative setting would be on the ranking.

I don’t know. I still refuse to call myself a feminist, but instead chose to believe different people express their belief in equality differently. Some in doing good deeds – fostering solidarity among all the sisters and shit, and advocacy works to help women realise and exercise their right and shit – and others in doing royally stupid shit. And I am fine with either. I mean, I may not understand it all, but I’m fine with it.  

Ciao