Tuesday 2 July 2013
I went for counselling
today. Actually, I had booked for counselling sometime last year when we first moved
to London and I found myself breaking down in tears one day on the road to
school. I didn’t follow through with that appointment, though. The instant I
felt a little better, I decided, “fine, now back to normal grinds of life.”
This time around, however, I decided I was going ahead to attend the session. I
felt I had been struggling to self-manage depression for so many years,
and it wasn’t getting easier or better to handle. I didn’t know what to expect
going in really. I guess I mostly had images in my head of American TV shows or
movies. You know, patients lie on the couch and the shrink jots down
‘delusional’ on their pad while always keeping an eye on the clock. I’m happy
to announce that it was nothing of that sort at all. There was no couch (a
stiff chair, yes) and no jotting bespectacled psychologist. The counsellor did
maintain eye contact throughout, and it was nice – in a way. It was a 40 minutes
appointment, and expectedly, family dirt was dug up. There was no tears – okay, very minimal (I’m
a cry baby), but I didn’t leave there a wretch, which is a relief.
Although she wasn’t sure,
the counsellor felt I might have bipolar disorder. She thinks if indeed I do
have that, is quite very mild, which is why I haven’t taken it more seriously.
She did say I’ve done a decent enough job self-managing over the years and
developed my own survival strategies – constantly seeking for projects and more
or less living in the future, that sort of thing. This first part scared me, thankfully
the latter was very reassuring to hear. I can’t take all the credit though. We
Naija people don’t take depression seriously. You’re either mad or you’re
not. So, if you’re not mad, you get on
with life like everybody else. There is never a shortage of well-meaning folks
impatiently waiting for you to “get over it”, “snap out of it” or the most
helpful response I’ve ever gotten so far, “please, try and be happy” to my confession
that I was deeply unhappy. Believe me, nobody wishes they could “snap out of”
depression more that the person suffering it. If they could they would. But, I
don’t know. I’ve lived with reoccurring and persistent depression for so long,
I may need to learn to live without it should the scheduled next six sessions
with the psychologist prove successful.
On a related note, it’s
probably an area too ‘foreign’ for our ailing Nigerian healthcare system to
handle right now, but I believe mental health gets absolutely no attention in
Nigeria. When it does, it’s mostly in the negative – journalists shamelessly
addressing people as ‘lunatics’ in their headlines, for an example. So for me,
it is a good opportunity that I shall get to have some experience working in
mental health while I’m here. From the 15th of this month, I would
be doing some work at different inpatient and community mental health settings
across four boroughs in London. We had the training on what to expect, and I
won’t lie, it was frightening. But like I have learnt, both from my program and
from my research in diabetes, it’s extremely important to see the person, and
not the disease.
Ciao.
Great post. You're right. Mental health issues are not dealt with appropriately in Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteI hope your sessions bring the results you hope for. Wishing you the best.
Yes, they have been. Itz a form of talking therapy, i think. This sought of support universities in Nigeria needs to have on offer for their students.
DeleteI was diagnosed with major depression in college. I have taken antidepressants on and off for the past 6 years (and I am a very successful business executive). It's a taboo with my Nigerian friends but my American friends discuss this openly and without shame. Nigeria is just backwards in many regards. No other way to describe it.
ReplyDeleteWell, once upon a time, mental illness was a taboo topic in the west as well. Lots of people locked up and the keys thrown away. That made pple reluctant to admit something was a little off somewhere. I believe gradually the same change will come to Nigeria. I have faith.
DeleteLate gate crasher.....
ReplyDeleteAll the best with your treatment. I'll come around to post a TED podcast link that contained a talk by Elyn Saks, a Professor of Law at the University of South California. Best wishes.
A book i think you would enjoy; The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness by Elyn Saks.
DeleteAlso, the link i promised: http://blog.ted.com/2013/03/01/the-unquiet-mind-ted-radio-hour-season-2-premieres-today/